Friday, May 07, 2004
Of Poems, Girls and Seriously Spooky Horoscopes
Doesn't time fly when you are having fun.
I've noticed that it's been a few months since any dark thoughts have crossed the void of cyberspace to refresh my blog.
Not to worry, I'll try and make up for it all here.
I'm not really sure where to start because soooooo much has happened recently.
Probably the event of biggest impact on my recent life was my recent cyberspace collision with an absolutely fantastic girl. Frighteningly, I'm finding myself drawn closer and closer to her, yet we haven't yet met face to face.
It's something that I never thought could happen in reality, and having heard stories like this in the past, I've always been very critical of the whole idea of falling for someone that you have never met. I've been seriously converted by these recent events.
It's surreal in that we've really only been in contact for about 3 weeks and yet know so much about each other. More surreal still is that I feel completely comfortable sharing my feelings and thoughts with her, which is something that has never happened to me before. She just seems to "get" me, which I don't think anyone else really ever has. Every aspect of my life that she learns about seems to fuel and affection and makes the whole relationship grow. To me this is very unusual, as people often view so much of my life as frightening, too challenging or too "in ya face".
Whereas people previously have tended to judge me on my past, Jodie (that's her name BTW) seems driven by my past to find my motivations and source of inspiration. It's such a refreshing thing to be able to talk to someone who doesn't look for fault in decisions that I've made, but instead becomes facinated by the fact that I had the courage to make the decisions in the first place. Every time I feel as though I might be saying something that she would find a bit freaky, she seems to be able to focus on how that particular event adds to the person that she is getting to know.
And it's not as though she's someone who's lived an uninteresting life, where a facination for the interesting and obtuse would fill a void of her own. Far from it. She herself seems to live a life full of motivation, artistic aspiration with a very strong focus on her friends and family. While I can't say that I have an intimate understanding of her history and her own motivations (yet), her life to date has been full of challenges, travel and with a surprising number of parallels to my own.
It's almost spooky how many personal views we share. Everything from how we view the collapse of values in the family unit to a sharing of an almost obsessive nature to avoid living a mundane, and forgetful life. A high level of self pride and responsibility, and a shared respect for not only each other, but for those who strive to better themselves.
How this girl ever found herself unattached to doting and obsessed boy is beyond me, but I am grateful that sooooo many have failed to see the flame that burns within her. Perhaps her strong sense of independence and strong views were a bit challenging for them, or perhaps her passion was more than they could handle. Who knows?
For me it's like walking through the desert at night and tripping over a 25kg gold nugget in the middle of a well used track. Everyone else was so obsessed with where they journeying to, that they failed to notice the treasures right under their noses. My only problem is that I don't have a shovel with which to dig the thing up, so it's a matter of coaxing it out of it's resting place and making it mine.
Wow - that was some simile...
Anyway, all in all Jodie's growing on me in a pretty serious way. I've just got to meet her now :)
She actually sent me my horoscope for yesterday this morning, and it's uncannily accurate. Yesterday was a dreadful day for me. A bunch of little issues built and festered within my mind to turn me into a cynical, angry little man. The horoscope that she sent me said:
You're not seeing the forest for the trees. A huge problem turns out to be nothing more than a tangle of little problems. You recognize some of them, too, which means that you didn't straighten things out as well as you thought. Work from several ends at once. Pull slowly and carefully in many places until you find the one tug that unravels the whole thing. Once you get all the knots out, rewind with caution to keep from repeating the whole mess. By the end of the day you're exhausted, relieved and maybe just a little wiser than when you began.
The exhaustion thing was also very accurate. After riding about 30km on my bike yesterday, I went and played a hard game of indoor hockey. That was exhausting, and I am feeling it today.
Anyway... Jodie has inspired some more poetry out of me. I'm actually pretty happy with this one, even though it's been years since I've written a poem. Maybe I'll shake away a bit more of the rust, and write a few more. Ya never know.
Anyway - here it is
The Butterfly
In the palm of your hand, I am perched,
Protected
Shrouded from scrutiny.
Azure eyes, painted on my wings - focussed,
On you, on me
Free I am, but I do not take flight.
Trusting
Frightened
But held by a gaze,
Intense Blue
I wait...
A Breath
A Gentle Touch
A Kiss
I Blink
My wings close, in comfort
I trust.
A Kiss.
Otherwise, life has been a pretty hectic affair.
A few interesting drama's with the house have kept me off the streets. Our floors finally are finished (or will be by 5pm this afternoon) when the carpet layer finalizes the carpet ends for our new hallway. It's been a long drawn out affair getting the floors replaced in the house, and now we've got the job of getting all of the furniture back into the house.
The bathroom painting was also a very interesting exercise, with a paint mix up rendering the bathroom wall shiny and cracked like an eggshell. White High Gloss Enamel is a freaky thing to have in a bathroom in large quanities. It's alltogether just too damn bright and shiney. Not the sort of thing that you really want to be greeted by in the semi awakened state of morning drowsiness, and I am horrified to consider the long term psychological effects of encountering such an atmosphere in the depths of a tequila hangover...
In other news, work has been interesting with a complete corporate re-structure at our work. Sadly I lost some of my work collegues, and good friends to the ravages of downsizing, though fortunately, I'm still gainfully employed.
In fact, I'm again off to China in two weeks. Lot's of networking at a conference in Shanghai. It will be good to see Shanghai, because it was one spot that I missed out on seeing on my last trip. Better scrub up on all of my Ni Hao's, Dsai Jian's, Pijio's and Hun Putajio's methinks.
I'm thinking about doing some Chinese language courses in the near future. They would be very handy in the future, as China is an emerging international economy. I can't see business opportunities with China diminishing any over the next 30-40 years, and having an understanding of the local tongue would stand me in good stead for my future career.
I'm also considering doing an MBA, which is a pretty full on thought. From all accounts, an MBA is a pretty full on course. I'll give it a bit more consideration, but I think I'm at that stage of my life, and career, where I'd get a lot from doing an MBA.
Also, I'm getting all inspired to start on a whole new batch of music. Nearly all of my other music projects are now finished so I should have a bunch of time to get some stuff together, and hopefully get an album finished, mastered and pressed. I really need to find some distributors, or a label to get signed to. Maybe it's time to find a decent manager to handle all of this stuff. Finding time to do it myself is something that is going to be pretty damn tricky.
I've also finished my first mastering project. Yep it's official, I'm now an experienced mastering engineer. I'm not necessarily a good one, but I have now completed a mastering project. The reviews of my work were really good, and I think that I'll probably get a bit of work doing some budget mastering work over the next few years. Who know's, maybe I'll even be able to start buying some decent mastering equipment :)
There's sooooo many other things that have been happening. The stuff above is just a small sample of them, except for the whole Jodie affair, which is actually the dominating force in my life at the moment. Actually, affair was probably a poor choice of words, but y'all know what I mean.
Until next time,
Happy Living...
I've noticed that it's been a few months since any dark thoughts have crossed the void of cyberspace to refresh my blog.
Not to worry, I'll try and make up for it all here.
I'm not really sure where to start because soooooo much has happened recently.
Probably the event of biggest impact on my recent life was my recent cyberspace collision with an absolutely fantastic girl. Frighteningly, I'm finding myself drawn closer and closer to her, yet we haven't yet met face to face.
It's something that I never thought could happen in reality, and having heard stories like this in the past, I've always been very critical of the whole idea of falling for someone that you have never met. I've been seriously converted by these recent events.
It's surreal in that we've really only been in contact for about 3 weeks and yet know so much about each other. More surreal still is that I feel completely comfortable sharing my feelings and thoughts with her, which is something that has never happened to me before. She just seems to "get" me, which I don't think anyone else really ever has. Every aspect of my life that she learns about seems to fuel and affection and makes the whole relationship grow. To me this is very unusual, as people often view so much of my life as frightening, too challenging or too "in ya face".
Whereas people previously have tended to judge me on my past, Jodie (that's her name BTW) seems driven by my past to find my motivations and source of inspiration. It's such a refreshing thing to be able to talk to someone who doesn't look for fault in decisions that I've made, but instead becomes facinated by the fact that I had the courage to make the decisions in the first place. Every time I feel as though I might be saying something that she would find a bit freaky, she seems to be able to focus on how that particular event adds to the person that she is getting to know.
And it's not as though she's someone who's lived an uninteresting life, where a facination for the interesting and obtuse would fill a void of her own. Far from it. She herself seems to live a life full of motivation, artistic aspiration with a very strong focus on her friends and family. While I can't say that I have an intimate understanding of her history and her own motivations (yet), her life to date has been full of challenges, travel and with a surprising number of parallels to my own.
It's almost spooky how many personal views we share. Everything from how we view the collapse of values in the family unit to a sharing of an almost obsessive nature to avoid living a mundane, and forgetful life. A high level of self pride and responsibility, and a shared respect for not only each other, but for those who strive to better themselves.
How this girl ever found herself unattached to doting and obsessed boy is beyond me, but I am grateful that sooooo many have failed to see the flame that burns within her. Perhaps her strong sense of independence and strong views were a bit challenging for them, or perhaps her passion was more than they could handle. Who knows?
For me it's like walking through the desert at night and tripping over a 25kg gold nugget in the middle of a well used track. Everyone else was so obsessed with where they journeying to, that they failed to notice the treasures right under their noses. My only problem is that I don't have a shovel with which to dig the thing up, so it's a matter of coaxing it out of it's resting place and making it mine.
Wow - that was some simile...
Anyway, all in all Jodie's growing on me in a pretty serious way. I've just got to meet her now :)
She actually sent me my horoscope for yesterday this morning, and it's uncannily accurate. Yesterday was a dreadful day for me. A bunch of little issues built and festered within my mind to turn me into a cynical, angry little man. The horoscope that she sent me said:
You're not seeing the forest for the trees. A huge problem turns out to be nothing more than a tangle of little problems. You recognize some of them, too, which means that you didn't straighten things out as well as you thought. Work from several ends at once. Pull slowly and carefully in many places until you find the one tug that unravels the whole thing. Once you get all the knots out, rewind with caution to keep from repeating the whole mess. By the end of the day you're exhausted, relieved and maybe just a little wiser than when you began.
The exhaustion thing was also very accurate. After riding about 30km on my bike yesterday, I went and played a hard game of indoor hockey. That was exhausting, and I am feeling it today.
Anyway... Jodie has inspired some more poetry out of me. I'm actually pretty happy with this one, even though it's been years since I've written a poem. Maybe I'll shake away a bit more of the rust, and write a few more. Ya never know.
Anyway - here it is
The Butterfly
In the palm of your hand, I am perched,
Protected
Shrouded from scrutiny.
Azure eyes, painted on my wings - focussed,
On you, on me
Free I am, but I do not take flight.
Trusting
Frightened
But held by a gaze,
Intense Blue
I wait...
A Breath
A Gentle Touch
A Kiss
I Blink
My wings close, in comfort
I trust.
A Kiss.
Otherwise, life has been a pretty hectic affair.
A few interesting drama's with the house have kept me off the streets. Our floors finally are finished (or will be by 5pm this afternoon) when the carpet layer finalizes the carpet ends for our new hallway. It's been a long drawn out affair getting the floors replaced in the house, and now we've got the job of getting all of the furniture back into the house.
The bathroom painting was also a very interesting exercise, with a paint mix up rendering the bathroom wall shiny and cracked like an eggshell. White High Gloss Enamel is a freaky thing to have in a bathroom in large quanities. It's alltogether just too damn bright and shiney. Not the sort of thing that you really want to be greeted by in the semi awakened state of morning drowsiness, and I am horrified to consider the long term psychological effects of encountering such an atmosphere in the depths of a tequila hangover...
In other news, work has been interesting with a complete corporate re-structure at our work. Sadly I lost some of my work collegues, and good friends to the ravages of downsizing, though fortunately, I'm still gainfully employed.
In fact, I'm again off to China in two weeks. Lot's of networking at a conference in Shanghai. It will be good to see Shanghai, because it was one spot that I missed out on seeing on my last trip. Better scrub up on all of my Ni Hao's, Dsai Jian's, Pijio's and Hun Putajio's methinks.
I'm thinking about doing some Chinese language courses in the near future. They would be very handy in the future, as China is an emerging international economy. I can't see business opportunities with China diminishing any over the next 30-40 years, and having an understanding of the local tongue would stand me in good stead for my future career.
I'm also considering doing an MBA, which is a pretty full on thought. From all accounts, an MBA is a pretty full on course. I'll give it a bit more consideration, but I think I'm at that stage of my life, and career, where I'd get a lot from doing an MBA.
Also, I'm getting all inspired to start on a whole new batch of music. Nearly all of my other music projects are now finished so I should have a bunch of time to get some stuff together, and hopefully get an album finished, mastered and pressed. I really need to find some distributors, or a label to get signed to. Maybe it's time to find a decent manager to handle all of this stuff. Finding time to do it myself is something that is going to be pretty damn tricky.
I've also finished my first mastering project. Yep it's official, I'm now an experienced mastering engineer. I'm not necessarily a good one, but I have now completed a mastering project. The reviews of my work were really good, and I think that I'll probably get a bit of work doing some budget mastering work over the next few years. Who know's, maybe I'll even be able to start buying some decent mastering equipment :)
There's sooooo many other things that have been happening. The stuff above is just a small sample of them, except for the whole Jodie affair, which is actually the dominating force in my life at the moment. Actually, affair was probably a poor choice of words, but y'all know what I mean.
Until next time,
Happy Living...
# posted by The Puppeteer : 12:19 pm
