Dark Thoughts

Well, our work team is all back in the office in Perth again, digesting the events of the last 2 weeks. One of the upcoming projects will involve my travel to Turkey. When I first found out about this, the plan was for me to leave the same day that Jodie arrived in Perth.

Fortunatly I was able to negotiate a different time frame, so I'll still be able to see Jodie while she's in Perth, but it seems that I won't be able to see her during her holidays. That's a great pity, but at least I won't miss her entirely.

The trip to Turkey should be interesting. Apparently it is a very beautiful country, and I am quite looking forward to visiting it. I'll be involved in commissioning a small pilot plant, and training local operators as to how properly to use the plant, including all of the plant reporting. There's a whole bunch of work to be done up front by me here in Perth before I go, but it should all go fairly smoothly, excepting the normal hiccups of commissioning.

After I return from Turkey, it looks like I'll be travelling to Mongolia almost immediately, to do a similar job there. Again, it will be great to see a different area of the world, though apparently the trip up to Mongolia is quite frightening, as the roads are in pretty poor conditions. Story's of travelling in packed busses with chickens and goats abound, but I guess I'll have to wait and see for myself.

I'm actually more worried about the bitterly cold weather and the high altitude of operation in Mongolia. I think that I'll probably be a little short of breath, especially considering that I noticed a shortness of breath when I was exerting myself when I was in central China, and Mongolia will be 1200m higher than the Chinese Plateau.

From all reports the locals around the operation where I'll be stationed are all really nice, so that should be great, but I'm still a little concerned about any vodka drinking games, though I much prefer vodka to Maotai from China.

All of this travel seems like a bit of an obstacle to Jodie and I, though we are both pretty determined to find our way through them. I think that what we have will be strong enough to see us through these turmultuous times, and hopefully they will bring us closer together once we finally do make a more permanent connection.

Exactly what form that will take is still a bit of a mystery, though we are both focussing on the long term at the moment. I guess this sounds a little strange considering the short time that we've known each other, but there is such a sense of familiarity and mutual adoration that it really seems like the right thing. We're both looking forward to the times when we don't have to hold a phone to our ears to be in each other's presence, even though we both realize that in the short term our interludes between meeting may be slightly increased.

In the overall, grand scheme of things though, I think that such missed opportunities for spending time with each other will appear fairly trivial, and will provide us with more opportunity to explore each other's personalities via other methods of communication. It certainly makes us both more determined and more ingenious in discovering ways to stay in touch. The drive to be with each other seems to fuel this, and for that I am grateful. It's this desire for each other that forms the core of our relationship, and I can't see that waning any time soon, if at all.

Anyway, it's a very exciting time of my life, in all ways. I'm getting the opportunity to see the world, I've found someone incredibly special, and even my music is going well, with me having finally finished the Onyx Soundset for the K2000 and K2600.

Onyx is an incredibly diverse set of sounds for these synths, that have been carefully honed and tweaked over the last two years to provide, what I think is perhaps one of the most intesively programmed sound sets created for these synths. Of course I can't take all of the credit, because I've had some help from some of the best Kurzweil programmers on the planet, but I like to think that I've added to the sounds with my contributions. It's been a difficult task, but one that has been worthwhile I think.

If you are a Kurzweil owner that is reading this, then I encourage you to check it out at Sonikmatter when it is released. I'm proud of the set, and I think that we've done some pretty special programming that people will be inspired by.

Life is becoming somewhat of an adventure at the moment, and I'm glad that I've got someone to share it all with. My life has been building to go up to the next step, and having someone by my side when I embark on that journey will such a joy. I just hope that she also finds happiness in the journey.

It was hockey night last night, and our team did pretty well, winning the night 9-2, though the match wasn't without incident. A last minute substitute umpire umpired very consistently, but with a slightly different variation to the rules, than what we were used to. This raised the heckles of a few of the players, but overall the match was played in pretty good spirits.

The other piece of drama came about 2/3 of the way through the first half when our opponents had a short corner. My job was to protect the left post from the flick at the top of the D. Well the shot came; hard and straight, and I stopped it just fine, though unfortunately my little pinky managed to find it's way between the ball and my stick, getting properly crushed.

It's now a lovely mottled purple, red, black and white, and makes hitting those "P"'s on the keyboard a rather painful experience.

And today of all days, when I've had a heap of typing to do. Thank god we've moved on from manual typewriters is all I've got to say.

Actually the finger isn't all that bad. I put it straight on ice last night, and had some Ibuprofen to reduce the swelling, so it's just a little uncomfortable when it's getting used. Piano practice is definately out for a few days, but I'm pretty sure there's going to me no ongoing damage or discomfort.

In other news, it looks like my housemate has gone and got himself set up with a girl of his own. Again our bachelor pad utopia has been invaded by the fairer sex, though neither of us are complaining in the least. It seems that we've both been very fortunate with our respective Belle's, though I'm of the firm belief that I've got by far the best deal (though I am biased) :)

Speaking of Jodie, smiles abounded once again as we spent a few hours on the phone again. Each time we have contact with each other it seems that we are drawn closer together. It's such a great feeling waking up filled with happiness in the mornings. Her Perth visit is also all confirmed now, and the excitement is building. Just how I'm going to cope with the distance between us for the next 3 weeks I do not know. Probably with lot's of re-assurance from Jodie.

It's nearly home time for the final day of an extremely busy week. The weekend will be a time of much music for me. I've got a sound set to finish, some programming examples to do, and a gig to write. I've also got a remix to do for The Freakz of Nature and I really want to get stuck into a new song.

My housemate will be at the Landmark Seminar's all weekend, so basically I'll have the house to myself.

Such a pity that Jodie's not in Perth to join me :)

Anyway, it's nearly time for the twist top to be removed from a beer for afternoon drinks, so I'll bid a fond farewell, until next time.

I've skipped back across the pond to my humble abode back in Perth. It was an exhausting trip leaving the hotel at 5:30am after spending the night on the phone to Jodie, and then finally arriving back in Perth at midnight the following day. The trip was interspersed by short periods of sleep, though I felt completely exhausted, and in a timeless daze when I arrived back in Perth.

I had the joys of the red line in customs due to some incense that I bought as gifts in Thailand, though there were no problems with the customs inspectors.

I had lots of sleep yesterday, and did my unpacking and a bit of cleaning up in the afternoon. I had a Toastmasters meeting in the evening, and presented my High Performance Leadership presentation on starting a new Toastmasters club. It went down well, though I was feeling a little flat.

We signed up a couple of new members last night, which was also cool. The club seems to be growing well at the moment, and should be in good shape for the new committee to take over in July.

Finally I got to speak with Jodie late in the evening after the meeting finished, and it was so good to hear her voice after more than 24 hours of being out of touch. It's amazing the sense of deprivation I feel when I'm not on the phone to her. I think that it's going to be difficult to see her get back on the plane after her upcoming visit to Perth. We had a great conversation last night. Very mellow, but it filled me with such a sense of comfort and satisfaction. It's like a piece of some giant puzzle easing into place to complete a work of art, and breaking the phone connection seems to lift that piece back out again.

It always leaves me with a sense of yearning to hear her voice as soon as we've broken contact, and my days are spend desiring her presence even more.

I've returned to work, and straight away the mayhem started. Things are looking progressively more positive for our new business unit, and we are gearing up for an incredibly intense few months of work and project evaluation. I'm pretty confident that our company is destined for some pretty serious commercial applications in the near future, but much of the success is going to depend upon how well our small team copes with the huge workload. Exciting times ahead methinks.

Anyway, I've got to get back to it. I've got a meeting in a few minutes and I've got a heap of preparation still to do.

Till Tomorrow

Well everyone has left Shanghai leaving me here alone. Well not everyone I guess, because there's still an awful lot of people here, but my aquaintances and work mates are now in Beijing leaving me as somewhat of a lonely soul in Beijing.

Thankfully I don't feel alone. Jodie's presence is always with me, and I know that I am often in her thoughts which is such a comfort. She's really pretty amazing. She's called me at my hotel for the last few nights so that we can fall asleep together. I feel a little guilty that she's spent so much money on international phone calls, but I think my protests would go unheard. She can be pretty determined when she has an idea in her mind, but regardless, I'm still grateful that she wants to speak to me, and am happy that she thinks that I'm worth it.

I hope that I am. Sometimes I wonder why Jodie would be so interested in me, but it would be doing her a disservice to bring into question her feelings. She is interested, and that's that. I just feel fortunate that I'm the object of her desire, and am just happy with knowing that. I don't want to push the point, lest I loose her.

I had a huge sleep in today. I got up briefly for breakfast at 9am and then went back to bed, re-awakening at 3:30pm. I must have really needed the sleep, because I feel sooooo much better now. Much less weary than I have been.

I'll go down for a light lunch soon, though I don't think I'll get out into Shanghai today. I might go for a little walk in the park behind the hotel, or perhaps go for a session down at the gym, but I won't be wandering the streets of Shanghai in search of my gift for Jodie :(

I spent most of yesterday attempting to find a caligrapher to make two posters for me. The first would say something like this.

手那拿住蝴蝶 - 朱迪·理查逊

The Hand That Holds The Butterfly - Jodie Richardson

and the second

失去的蝴蝶 - 被找到 - 杰森没几个翅膀 (thought this last little bit is wrong!)

Lost Butterfly - Found - Jason Fewings

I found a place that could do it, for a huge cost, though the caligrapher wasn't in. Apparently he was a famous caligrapher but he wasn't there anyway, and I'm not sure if I could find the place again today on my own anyway. I'll try to get this done in Australia. I'm sure there must be people that can do caligraphy in Australia.

I wanted to get a poster each for Jodie and myself, but it will have to wait now.

It was frustrating trying to describe exactly what I wanted to my guides. They didn't speak the best english, and trying to describe what I wanted written on the posters was very difficult. They couldn't understand that these were like lines from poetry rather than proper sentences and they were trying to rewrite these as a story.

I spent maybe an entire hour trying to get this sorted out before we embarked on a 3 hour journey to find a place where I could get this written.

Anyway - today is my last day in Shanghai. I've got a bit of typing to do, and then probably a bit more relaxing before finishing all of my packing.

I'm going to head downstairs to get something light to eat and the next time I blog will probably be at the Bangkok Airport Thai Business Lounge.

The last few days has been incredibly hectic.

Firstly I had the China Nickel Outlook 2004 conference to attend. The papers were intersting, some moreso than others, but the overall message was that the nickel price is expected to stay high, and that price volatility in the nickel market causes problems for stainless steel producers due to the long lead time in being able to pass on price increases and the pressure by customers to reduce prices when the nickel price goes down again.

One delegate called for regulation of the nickel industry, but the LME already provides somewhat of a buffer for nickel production and supply variation, and probably does a fairly good job of smoothing price. It is true that nickel speculators can wreak havoc with this mechanism, but overall it's pretty good. Perhaps what is needed is a similar mechanism for stainless steel, where producers can hedge future production to create some sort of price stability. Of course this won't help those producers of custom steel grades or the exceptionally high grade steels, though their competition is far more limited, so price variation should be less of an issue for them.

There were some updates on upcoming nickel projects, some of which look very good, though most of the large scale nickel production is predicted to come from laterites. All in all, interesting, but not compelling.

Of far more import (as is normal at these conferences) were the networking opportunities, and Mal and I did our best to explain our technology to those who may be holding deposits, or low grade stockpiles that are currently of little value to them. The bacteria can get the base metals into solution in a much cheaper way than conventional treatment.

Most people had heard a little about the process, but we really did our best to fill them in on the details, and the potential of the process. Quite well received, and some great contacts to follow up in the near future. I guess we'll have to wait and see how everything unfolds, but there could be some very interesting times ahead for our company.

Outside of the conference, some additional meetings took place. One was a follow up of a long time development partner, though I think I accomplished more in a casual meeting over lunch than we did in the official meeting. It appears that the long term partner is actually very keen to use our technology, but they need to ensure that it is going to work at the full scale.

All positive, but I think a bit more clarification at the corporate level is required so that each company understands what the other company needs.

The other major meeting that we had was with a small company that holds some mining leases in China. It looks like a deal has been structured that will allow us to get our foot in the door with a fairly significant mine. It's a pretty unique opportunity, and we'll need to do a bit more work to get it all sorted out.

Right - Phones.....

Well, phones are interesting things. They can provide the glue to keep two souls connected, or in rarer cases, connect them in the first place.

Last night I had one of the most interesting, strange, touching and unusual phone calls of my short life. Two souls connected in an unusual way last night, and perhaps the playing field changed a little.

Not in such a serious way that it's now for a different game, but more like someone came and painted the goal posts, and fitted new seats to the grandstands. The grass was fertilized, and a fresh coat of paint.

I won't go into details about the call itself, as it's something that I don't think would be appreciated properly outside of the individual participants, but two people suddenly got much closer to each other last night.

To bring the blog up to date, I'll briefly explain my day of shopping in Shanghai.

Two people from meetings I had earlier today, came and picked me up and took me shopping today. We visited a few large department stores and I got to buy some really nice shirts and ties. 100% silk ties in China cost less than $20 Australian, which is an absolute bargain. I also got some 100% cotton shirts at prices ranging from about $30 to about $70. Not quite the bargains of the ties, but cheap nonetheless for business shirts, especially for ones of this quality.

I also bought a few gifts, and the Kosheen CD and A Perfect Circle CD, both of which I've wanted for a while. These are the genuine article, and are only marginally cheaper than Australia (by about 30-40%), but I prefer not to buy pirated music anyway. It's important to me that the artist earns what's due to him/her, so I'll part with a little extra money to get the quality and be fair to the artist.

I also bought a few presents for people, but one present that I was trying to arrange I couldn't. A little disappointed, but I'll look for another way to get it sorted out.

Well I made it to Shanghai.

It was a long trip, but travelling with Thai air was good. Good service, great food, and reasonably comfortable chairs.

I bought myself some iPod accessories duty free, and a new pair of Bolle's. Tried heaps of glasses on and found some that look OK, so I bought them.

We had a 3 hour wait in Bangkok which was pretty cool. I'm going to get some alcohol and some Drakar Noir on the way back, because perfumes and alcohol are ridiculously cheap in Bangkok.

The second trip to Shanghai, while shorter, seemed to take so much longer. The movies were dreadful (for the most part) so I drunk lot's of alcohol. It made everything kinda hazy, but didn't make things go any faster.

I had a great chat with my travel companion, and one of my bosses. He's pretty keen for me to step up to the bar and see if I've got the goods to manage one of the company groups. That's both daunting and flattering. Flattering because he has the faith in my abilities to do the job, and daunting, because I'm not sure if I have the same confidence.

I'll give it my all though in trying to achieve that goal, because it's important for me, and also for the company I'm working for.

My first impressions of Shanghai have been pretty good. It seems to be a much cleaner and modern city than Beijing, though I've really only seen the newer Pudong section. Maybe later I'll get a chance to go to old Shanghai and see The Bund, and some of the old Colonial sections.

The hotel is pretty cool, though it was a bit of a shock to discover that my credit card will be charged for the room and then me getting re-imbursed. I'll have to transfer some money to cover that, because I wasn't expecting it. It'll all be fine, but it would have been nice to know in advance so that I could have planned accordingly.

I really hate these kinds of surprises. Surprises are usually a good thing, but in this case, it's just damned annoying.

Anyway, I've got some notes to type up, and some calculations to make before tomorrow, and I really need some sleep, so until then Dsai Jian (Goodbye) :-)

To China that is.

Today's the big day. I'm here sitting in Perth Airport, waiting for my flight to be called.

It's really strange. Saying goodbye to Jodie tonight, was so difficult, because we both know that contact will be a bit of a rarity over the next week. I'm missing her dearly already, and I only got off the phone an hour and a half ago. It's strange... almost like leaving a long-term partner. It's quite amazing at times to acknowledge the depth of feeling that we've built towards each other in the last few weeks, and at the same time a little frightening wondering how much further this can go.

A long way I hope, even though I have a certain apprehension of entering into another relationship. I think this one is worth the risk though.

That's a big call I know.

I was thinking earlier about some imagery that I might use in my next poem. The image that came to mind was two bodies in a huge river about to go over a water fall. Whereas normally I'd be frightened and fighting the current, in this case I'm feeling more as though this is a fun trip down river; some kind of wild adventure, and I'm sure that we'll look at each other after the ride, and say something like "That was one heck of a ride - wanna try it again"

For some reason, Jodie seems to have removed the whole fear factor, and replaced it with a sense of adventure and discovery. Strangely I feel as though it never has to end.

This week will provide some time for contemplation I suppose, and a chance to catch up on some sleep in the absence of late night phone calls. China will be a bit of an adventure for me, especially as I've never seen Shanghai. I really want to try to get over to the Cotton Club one night for some seriously seedy Jazz in a dingy smoke filled club, like from the movies.

I'm sure though, that there will be much drinking over business and heaps of strange food.

It's a distraction, for sure, but I'm already wanting to be back in Perth, or better still, somewhere closer to Jodie.

The fateful date of the meeting has been postponed a week, but it's probably going to work better for both of us as it turns out. It should allow Jodie some extra time in Perth, and it will mean that I won't have to cancel a meeting that I thought that I might otherwise have had to. I've had to move a gig, so that I can play while Jodie was down (Thanks Ivor), though she won't get to see me compete at the speech finals. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, particularly as the subject of my speech is Internet dating, of which Jodie plays quite a significant role.

Anyway, it's nearly time to get on the plane, so till next time - Enjoy Life...

A blade of grass,
A knife's edge.
The arch of green.
The spear tip

Pushes against my foot,
Crushed.
A paper cut.
The smallest incision

I feel the nick,
I feel the itch.
It spreads within me.
Slowly it warms

Me, from within
Like embers re-igniting.
The spark ne're lost
Rekindled.

A pinhole
Torn in my skin
A splinter
Of barrier rock

Falls...
Silently...

The light, floods the darkness.
Shakes from it's back, the cobwebs.
Waves of dust and fear cascade,
The ages, creak, re-awakened.

Such warmth.
Such illumination
Such a tiny portal
Grows... even now

It Grows
And Warms
And Lives Within.

Snowberg n. - 1. An icecream with a particularly icy texture. 2. A floating mass of packed snow, not yet ice. Compare Iceberg. 3. Coloquial term for Snowberry - A spiky, poisonous, deciduous plant native to North America.

Snowberg was a word that came up in conversation between Jodie and I a few nights ago. We had a great laugh, because it was used in the wrong context at the time, though we were both quite tired, so we'll put that one down to a wandering mind.

The word itself however intrigued me, so I made up 2 definitions for it. Definition 3 (above) is actually a definition from Hyperdictionary. I don't think that it's actually a word per se, but if everyone starts using it, then perhaps one day it will be.

I actually googled this word and came up with 15 pages of responses. Mostly surnames of people, which indicates that Snowberg is not an unusual name, though it's exact meaning still remains elusive.

So what's it all got to do with hockey balls?

Well, frankyly, absolutely nothing.

A hockey ball is something that I got to smack around last night at our second indoor hockey game. It seemed harder than the first (the game that is, not the ball), and we only managed a draw this time. A draw was a fair result though, and the game was hard fought throughout both halves. A couple of mistakes by our team let the opposition get a couple of quick goals early in the second half, and similarly we followed up with two quick goals of our own.

I actually scored a goal myself last night, and I was pretty stoked about that, because I had some pretty serious competition at the top of the D, and somehow managed to sneak it through and in for a goal.

I'm still getting to know my team mates, and as communication develops, I'm sure that our team will get stronger.

Finally I went to Kieper Records CD launch at the Velvet Lounge last night. Great cut up soundscapes and ambient textures. Great album - I've got it playing on my iPod right now.

Big congrats to Greg and Brendan at Kieper for scoring a national distribution deal for the complilation. It's well deserved, and is a just reward for the hard work that you guys have put in. Much respect.

In other news, I've got a gig on June 16th at the Hyde Park Hotel, playing as LOST, though I'll probably also throw in a few up beat moments to keep the whole thing interesting. I'm thinking that I'll use the K2600 as well as two external FX units to create an FX laden wall of ambient sound for the night.

Start off nice and slow, and then work up with some seriously glitched up beats. We'll see.

I'll probably end up dropping back into the set that I played at the Leederville a couple of months back for part of the show, but will extend that to show more diversity and to try to take the audience on a bit of a journey.

Thanks to Ivor for the opportunity to play.

A pretty busy day yesterday, with a whole bunch of stuff needing doing at work. Didn't quite get it all finished, but certainly put a mighty big dent in it. More to do today, but that's cool.

Last night after work I had a Toastmasters meeting. I actually ran a murder mystery night. I'm not sure what compelled me to volunteer to run one of these in a restraunt, but it was actually pretty hard work.

It wasn't nearly as effective as it could have been, due to ambient noise, restricted space and a few of the cast members being a little lost as to exactly what was happening.

People tended to get into it more as the night went on, and I think everyone enjoyed it, though it certainly wasn't one of the most spectacular meetings that we've held. Nonetheless it was a welcome change and there were a few laughs throughout the night.

If you are ever tempted to run a murder mystery night, or a How to Host a Murder as a club night in a restraunt here's a few tips that I picked up.

Firstly, select your cast very carefully. You want the extroverted people that can think on their feet. People who don't mind making a complete fool of themselves in front of an audience.

Make sure that they've all got big voices.

Make sure they all wear costumes.

Give them all plenty of notice, a good briefing and probably a bit of a practice run before the night.

Warn the restraunt, and ask if they can give you a secluded area/room, and ask them to turn down any ambient music.

Select a single person to read the whodunnit bit. Make sure to give them the solution well in advance, so that they have heaps of time to prepare the speech.

Get somebody to give the intro speech. Those introduction tapes are pretty darn tacky.

It's important to do a summary after each round. Most people forget the details of what happens. Keep notes, or do some research up front, in order to have a succinct summary of what happens. This will probably be a bit of a spoiler for you, but it is important so that the audience stays involved.

Lastly have fun.

The food at the restraunt last night was superb. I'd happily recomment the Smiths Mill restraunt in Glen Forrest if you want a bit of quality food.

The desert was my favourite. Hot berries over Cointreau Icecream...

Yum!!!

Once that had finished, I then had the priviledge of speaking to Jodie for a few hours. She's now a regular feature in my evenings, and talking to her on the phone late at night is the perfect way to end the day. She's so uplifting to talk to, and always manages to bring a broad smile to my face. That smile, somehow just carries over into my next day.

Life is good.

Yesterday was a strident boot back to reality for me. I'm actually going to meet Jodie, in a few weeks time, and for much of yesterday I was adjusting to this revelation.

I'm actually really excited about meeting Jodie face to face for the first time, but I'm simultaneously frightened that something will go wrong to derail the whole thing.

I have such strong feelings for Jodie that the fear of rejection is somewhat overwhelming. These fears are something left over from earlier experiences in my life, and it is unreasonable to apply them to Jodie, but somehow there was a lingering doubt about how Jodie feels about me.

Last night we spoke for 4 or 5 hours on the phone, and somehow my fears were fully allayed. From a doubting fearful boy to a confident, happy potential beau with just a few short hours of conversation. Jodie has this amazing ability to be able to understand my insecurities, and seems to know exactly the right things to say. I just wish that I could return favour and allay her trepidation in meeting me.

Anyway, today I'm featuring a poem written by Jodie. She read it to me last night, and it made me laugh. She's agreed to let me post it here, so read all, and enjoy.

I think it displays a little mischievious, and fun part of her personality perfectly.

"A Cheeky Soliloquy"

Face away from me, and shine
your back is far more pleasant
those dark eyes now cut not mine
as I observe your behind
voice is freshly resonant.
Stand, back facing me m'dear
see now where later fingers span
your attractions now so clear
I watch your beautiful rear
be still, my restless hands.
Rasping and at times creaky
blue denimn, encasing treasure
desireable and cheeky
O! hidden buns, I seek thee
can't touch, but look at leisure.
O joy, temporary bliss!
never have I so loved farce
I reach out to touch, but miss
sadly, I settle for this,
Ode to a Wonderful Arse!

Jodie M Richardson
31/08/99

I had a read through my blog this morning, and I noticed that I've kind of being going on about Jodie heaps.

Today though, I'll refrain from sharing my feelings about her, and instead talk about something else. It's not that I'm not thinking of her, only that this whole public outpouring seems a tad sentimental, when I try to look at it objectively.

iPods...

What a ingenious conception.

I knew a few people that had one, and was very tempted to get one myself for ages. I mentioned that I wanted one to my sister a while back, and low and behold, she comes back from a recent trip to Singapore bearing, one iPod for your's truly.

She got me the 20GB version of the second generation iPods (and if you feel compelled to get one, then I'd suggest that you go for the second generation ones). It's amazing how you learn to take such things for granted. I mean I bought a discman about a year ago, and it's been rendered completely obsolete by the iPod.

The integration with the software, the ability to purchase music online, and it's use as a portable hard drive make these things so versatile. Add to this the ability to store contacts, appointments and everything else, and you've got one very smart little package.

The only downside is that the accessories are on the expensive side, but I guess that you only need to buy them once.

I've got a huge chunk of music on the iPod at the moment, though it's still only a fraction of my collection. I bought a whole bunch of albums in today to put across to it.

Included are

The Mission - Masque
Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine, and The Downward Spiral
Front 242 - Front by Front and Live Code
The Cure - Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me and
A Goa Trance Compilation.

A bit of an eclectic mix I guess.

It's interesting hearing the change in the music of Nine Inch Nails over time. From the raw industrial energy of Pretty Hate Machine, to the despairing Downward Spiral and finally my favourite - The Fragile - a name that perfectly describes the album.

The Fragile is like a finely carved porcelain egg. Apparently brittle, but a thing of such stunning beauty. Raw, yet perfect.

The Fragile sets a new benchmark for quality of production for me, a level to which I aspire. The dynamic range is incredible, and I've had the pleasure of hearing this album played through a set of Electrostatic Speakers. It is one of the few albums that truly does justice to them.

Trent Reznor certainly takes his music very seriously, and this album represents the pinnacle of his achievements to date. Having heard the evolution of his music from the early days of Pretty Hate Machine, has seen giant steps with each album.

Can Reznor get any better. Is there a new level where he can take us in terms of production quality or will even he plateau at some stage.

I guess it remains to be seen.

The weekend was a time for pleasant surprises for me.

Much happened over the weekend, though I feel as though it went by so fast, with nothing having been accomplished.

I spent much of the weekend cleaning the house, painting the bathroom and re-arranging furniture. I bought a couple of shelving units, one for the studio, and one for the spare room, in order to empty some boxes out, and to give me some more storage space, while keeping the place neat and tidy.

The studio is structurally back together, though it still needs to be wired up. I might have to go and buy a new Rack, in order to properly utilize the patchbay, but I'll work that one out soon.

A side effect of getting the house all organized again, was that I got my bathroom scales back on the bathroom floor. Curious as to my weight, I stood on them, and found that I've lost 2 kg over the last 2-3 weeks. This was the first pleasant surprise.

Just when I'd given up on the losing weight thing it moves. Typical...

Not that I feel terribly overweight or anything, it's just that I'd like to be a little leaner.

The second pleasant surprise came whem I got a phone call explaining to me that a new indoor hockey competition was starting up in Midland. Indoor hockey is awsome fun, and we had our first game on Thursday. The team of misfits that I've been lined up with, are all individuals who didn't come in with a particular team. Strangely they are all pretty damn cool, and can play reasonanbly well.

We won our first game 7-5, though I was seriously knackered after running around for nearly an hour non-stop next to some fit 18yo guys. They just wouldn't stop running, the b@$#ards!

Most of the rest of my weekend was spent on the phone, and SMSing Jodie, which, while not unexpected, was very pleasant. She twisted my arm to get a few photo's of myself over to her. Actually, the whole photo thing actually worked out quite well because in the process of unpacking some of my boxes, I found all of my old photo's. There were a few of me as a young goth, so I scanned them in for Jodie, and put them onto the web.

I "borrowed" my housemate's digital camera and took a few more of myself, which worked out surprisingly well. Jodie told me that I had a very young face, which is very flattering, but spookily, one of the girls at the cafe where I get my lunch said exactly the same thing today.

I'm beginning to get all spooked out by all of these co-incidence's happening in my life.

Another spooky co-incidence happened this morning. Jodie asked me to take a photo of myself in the morning sun. As luck would have it, it's currently very stormy and raining in Perth at the moment, but when I walked out of the door this morning to leave for work, I was met with a beam of sunlight shining through a hole in the clouds. I grabbed the opportunity and snapped a couple of photo's just before the rain started again.

I really enjoyed all of the time I spent on the phone to Jodie over the weekend. It seems that every time I talk to her, I grow fonder of her, and feel more relaxed and trusting.

It's pretty weird to trust someone again, because I've been so wary and defensive for so long, though it's not unwelcome. Strangely the whole element of trust is so natural with Jodie, though sometimes I do get a little scared that this is all too good to be true, and find myself expecting the whole thing to disintegrate. I dearly hope it doesn't, because I can really see some sort of future for us, presumptuous as that may sound.

I'm not really sure why, but we seem to work so incredibly well together. I can't believe it's only been a few weeks since we first nervously met, and just over a week since we first heard each other's voices. It now seems so familiar, and so welcome to hear her voice, and I can barely remember what it was like not to have her in my ear as I'm falling asleep.

My housemate has been chastising me a little about it, but not in a bad way. He openly admits that he's jealous that I seem to have found someone "really cool". I think he's actually very happy for me, which is why he's my best mate. He comfortable enough with himself that he can be happy for other's success and happiness, and that's a quality that I look for in my friends.

I tend to find that with Jodie also, which is perhaps one of the reasons that I'm so attracted to her. She manages to find something positive with every revelation that she finds out about me. I think that that would be somewhat of a challenge, knowing where my life has taken me thus far, on my journey.

Jodie actually told her family about me last night which was incredibly touching. It somehow lends a substance to the whole relationship, especially in light of the fact that we haven't actually met in person yet. I'm touched that she feels enough for me that she's prepared to endure the 20 questions treatment that such revelations invariably lead to.

I'm so glad that I decided to get in contact with her. She's been such a source of hapiness and inspiration.

Doesn't time fly when you are having fun.

I've noticed that it's been a few months since any dark thoughts have crossed the void of cyberspace to refresh my blog.

Not to worry, I'll try and make up for it all here.

I'm not really sure where to start because soooooo much has happened recently.

Probably the event of biggest impact on my recent life was my recent cyberspace collision with an absolutely fantastic girl. Frighteningly, I'm finding myself drawn closer and closer to her, yet we haven't yet met face to face.

It's something that I never thought could happen in reality, and having heard stories like this in the past, I've always been very critical of the whole idea of falling for someone that you have never met. I've been seriously converted by these recent events.

It's surreal in that we've really only been in contact for about 3 weeks and yet know so much about each other. More surreal still is that I feel completely comfortable sharing my feelings and thoughts with her, which is something that has never happened to me before. She just seems to "get" me, which I don't think anyone else really ever has. Every aspect of my life that she learns about seems to fuel and affection and makes the whole relationship grow. To me this is very unusual, as people often view so much of my life as frightening, too challenging or too "in ya face".

Whereas people previously have tended to judge me on my past, Jodie (that's her name BTW) seems driven by my past to find my motivations and source of inspiration. It's such a refreshing thing to be able to talk to someone who doesn't look for fault in decisions that I've made, but instead becomes facinated by the fact that I had the courage to make the decisions in the first place. Every time I feel as though I might be saying something that she would find a bit freaky, she seems to be able to focus on how that particular event adds to the person that she is getting to know.

And it's not as though she's someone who's lived an uninteresting life, where a facination for the interesting and obtuse would fill a void of her own. Far from it. She herself seems to live a life full of motivation, artistic aspiration with a very strong focus on her friends and family. While I can't say that I have an intimate understanding of her history and her own motivations (yet), her life to date has been full of challenges, travel and with a surprising number of parallels to my own.

It's almost spooky how many personal views we share. Everything from how we view the collapse of values in the family unit to a sharing of an almost obsessive nature to avoid living a mundane, and forgetful life. A high level of self pride and responsibility, and a shared respect for not only each other, but for those who strive to better themselves.

How this girl ever found herself unattached to doting and obsessed boy is beyond me, but I am grateful that sooooo many have failed to see the flame that burns within her. Perhaps her strong sense of independence and strong views were a bit challenging for them, or perhaps her passion was more than they could handle. Who knows?

For me it's like walking through the desert at night and tripping over a 25kg gold nugget in the middle of a well used track. Everyone else was so obsessed with where they journeying to, that they failed to notice the treasures right under their noses. My only problem is that I don't have a shovel with which to dig the thing up, so it's a matter of coaxing it out of it's resting place and making it mine.

Wow - that was some simile...

Anyway, all in all Jodie's growing on me in a pretty serious way. I've just got to meet her now :)

She actually sent me my horoscope for yesterday this morning, and it's uncannily accurate. Yesterday was a dreadful day for me. A bunch of little issues built and festered within my mind to turn me into a cynical, angry little man. The horoscope that she sent me said:

You're not seeing the forest for the trees. A huge problem turns out to be nothing more than a tangle of little problems. You recognize some of them, too, which means that you didn't straighten things out as well as you thought. Work from several ends at once. Pull slowly and carefully in many places until you find the one tug that unravels the whole thing. Once you get all the knots out, rewind with caution to keep from repeating the whole mess. By the end of the day you're exhausted, relieved and maybe just a little wiser than when you began.


The exhaustion thing was also very accurate. After riding about 30km on my bike yesterday, I went and played a hard game of indoor hockey. That was exhausting, and I am feeling it today.

Anyway... Jodie has inspired some more poetry out of me. I'm actually pretty happy with this one, even though it's been years since I've written a poem. Maybe I'll shake away a bit more of the rust, and write a few more. Ya never know.

Anyway - here it is

The Butterfly

In the palm of your hand, I am perched,
Protected
Shrouded from scrutiny.
Azure eyes, painted on my wings - focussed,
On you, on me

Free I am, but I do not take flight.
Trusting
Frightened
But held by a gaze,
Intense Blue

I wait...
A Breath
A Gentle Touch
A Kiss

I Blink
My wings close, in comfort
I trust.
A Kiss.


Otherwise, life has been a pretty hectic affair.

A few interesting drama's with the house have kept me off the streets. Our floors finally are finished (or will be by 5pm this afternoon) when the carpet layer finalizes the carpet ends for our new hallway. It's been a long drawn out affair getting the floors replaced in the house, and now we've got the job of getting all of the furniture back into the house.

The bathroom painting was also a very interesting exercise, with a paint mix up rendering the bathroom wall shiny and cracked like an eggshell. White High Gloss Enamel is a freaky thing to have in a bathroom in large quanities. It's alltogether just too damn bright and shiney. Not the sort of thing that you really want to be greeted by in the semi awakened state of morning drowsiness, and I am horrified to consider the long term psychological effects of encountering such an atmosphere in the depths of a tequila hangover...

In other news, work has been interesting with a complete corporate re-structure at our work. Sadly I lost some of my work collegues, and good friends to the ravages of downsizing, though fortunately, I'm still gainfully employed.

In fact, I'm again off to China in two weeks. Lot's of networking at a conference in Shanghai. It will be good to see Shanghai, because it was one spot that I missed out on seeing on my last trip. Better scrub up on all of my Ni Hao's, Dsai Jian's, Pijio's and Hun Putajio's methinks.

I'm thinking about doing some Chinese language courses in the near future. They would be very handy in the future, as China is an emerging international economy. I can't see business opportunities with China diminishing any over the next 30-40 years, and having an understanding of the local tongue would stand me in good stead for my future career.

I'm also considering doing an MBA, which is a pretty full on thought. From all accounts, an MBA is a pretty full on course. I'll give it a bit more consideration, but I think I'm at that stage of my life, and career, where I'd get a lot from doing an MBA.

Also, I'm getting all inspired to start on a whole new batch of music. Nearly all of my other music projects are now finished so I should have a bunch of time to get some stuff together, and hopefully get an album finished, mastered and pressed. I really need to find some distributors, or a label to get signed to. Maybe it's time to find a decent manager to handle all of this stuff. Finding time to do it myself is something that is going to be pretty damn tricky.

I've also finished my first mastering project. Yep it's official, I'm now an experienced mastering engineer. I'm not necessarily a good one, but I have now completed a mastering project. The reviews of my work were really good, and I think that I'll probably get a bit of work doing some budget mastering work over the next few years. Who know's, maybe I'll even be able to start buying some decent mastering equipment :)

There's sooooo many other things that have been happening. The stuff above is just a small sample of them, except for the whole Jodie affair, which is actually the dominating force in my life at the moment. Actually, affair was probably a poor choice of words, but y'all know what I mean.

Until next time,

Happy Living...