Dark Thoughts

What a hectic few months it's been. Jode's and I got over to China, and back down to Adelaide to catch up with here Dad and Nanna, and little brother. It was great fun down there, though a little bit on the brisk side.

Back home, however there was trouble brewing. We arrived home to find that my sister had left her husband and taken up residence in our house.

Worse yet, she came with 3 children under 6.

Worse still, the said 3 children have a destructive force that is measured on the same magnitude as the Asian Tsunami and Hurricane Katrina. Our house is burried under about a foot of clothing, toys, lollies, paperwork and god knows what else. Some kind of wierd troll has moved into our fridge that seems intent on devouring all the good healthy stuff we put in there, and turning it into junk food. His twin brother has taken up residence in our pantry. Their destructive half brother has taken to breaking just about every kitchen utensil, drink bottle, plate, cup, glass that we own, or at least one piece from each set. Those wedding gifts have got a pretty short life expectancy.

The worst thing of all though is the 4 and a half year old that has some psycopathic phobia of the toilet and who instead likes to have shit running down her legs so she can deposit it from one end of the house to the other, crush it into the carpets and smear it on the walls.

We are none too happy about the situation, and unfortunately we seem to be the last house with the doors still open to her. She has at long last managed to find a rental property, but she's taking her own sweet time moving in there. We've been strongly hinting that it's a matter of urgency that she moves, even going so far as packing up all the clothes and furniture into boxes and leaving it beside the front door.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my sister to death, but our little 4 x 2 was never designed to hold 3 adults, 3 kids and a dog who thinks she's human. Not only that, but we don't really agree with the whole situation, so I'm sitting here biting my tongue, curled up in a ball, praying that the whole mess will just disappear in a puff of smoke.

My brother in law (who was one of my groomsmen, and a really good mate) really has copped the raw end of the stick with this one. While there has been some strain in the relationship, it's not really fair on my BIL that my sister has left the house to be with an old flame, while also looting the house of the furniture, and denying access to the kids in all but the most inopportune moments.

The kids are being used as a bit of leverage between the warring factions, and the stress is starting to show.

So here I am, stuck in a house with 6 women, 3 of whom are Leo's, 2 of which are welcome (and one of them is the dog), watching my sisters relationship crumble in the same way as the big bang did, trying to keep my house from being completely and utterly destroyed. Jode's is frustrated, the dog is scared and kinda skittish and the whole thing is doing my head in.

My sister on the other hand seems to delight in springing the unholy trinity on us at a moments notice as some kind of masochistic live in baby sitters while she's out with her boyfriend.

Fortunately I've managed to keep the keys to the studio hidden, and actually managed to get some new tunes finished in those brief moments that I manage to escape. Heck I've even done a few upgrades over the last couple of months.

Hopefully tonight our torment will end, as it's currently scheduled that the 4 of them will be sleeping at their new house tonight. Schedules seem to have a nasty habit of getting altered, but we've got a plan. The bed get's disassembled tonight, and the air mattress get's deflated. I'm not sure it we're being pushy or nasty here, but there's certainly something inhuman about the whole situation.

If you have any suggestions about how to deftly weave through the sea of ego's and fragile emotions without copping threats of death or castration from wife, sister, brother in law or future teenage girls, do leave me a comment. I need all the help I can get with this one.